Hari ini tanggal 20 Oktober 2012. Dua tahun yang lalu adalah 20 Oktober 2010 (20-10-2010). Ya, tentu saja, bukan ? Memangnya ada apa ? 🙂 Tahukah kalian, bahwa hari ini adalah hari ulang tahun kedua kemoterapi pertamaku ? (lebay banget.com :))
Dua tahun lalu, mestinya sesuai dengan waktu yang telah dijadwalkan dokter, aku mendapatkan kemoterapi pertama pada tanggal 19 Oktober 2012. Tapi karena sesuatu hal, diundur sehari menjadi tanggal 20-10-2010. Sesuatu hal itu sebenarnya adalah karena waktunya yang tidak memungkinkan. Hari itu, tanggal 19 Oktober, aku dan suamiku baru menemui dokter sekitar jam 10 an dan baru mendapatkan resep obat-obat untuk kemo.
Maklumlah, karena belum punya pengalaman kemo sama sekali, jadi kami tidak tahu bahwa kalau misalnya hari ini jadwalnya kemo, seharusnya dari jam 8 pagi aku harus sudah siap berada di ruang kemoterapi dan sudah membawa obat – obatan yang diperlukan. Mestinya, kalau hari ini aku mau kemo, kemarin aku sudah menemui dokter untuk mendapatkan resepnya, dan sudah mengambil obat-obatnya di apotik ASKES, lalu menitipkannya ke apotik yang ada di Poli Tulip (untuk diambil esok harinya). Mestinya, kemarin juga aku sudah EKG dan cek darah, dan membawa hasil lab tersebut saat menemui dokter
Hari itu, tanggal 19 Oktober 2010, aku baru menemui dokter sekitar jam 10 an, baru dapat resep obatnya, belum mengambil obat kemonya, yang antrinya lama banget…. padahal kemoterapiku yang obatnya doxorubicin dan brexel itu bisa memakan waktu lima jam. Pantesan aja perawatnya menolak aku untuk kemo hari itu. Waktunya nggak akan cukup… Jadilah kemoku diundur sehari, kebetulan di tanggal cantik yang mudah diingat, karena bagaimanapun, pengalaman kemo pertama bagi setiap pasien kanker pastilah sangat berkesan dan akan terkenang selalu… Walau bagaimanapun aku tidak ingin mengenangnya, tapi bagaimanapun akan selalu terkenang… tidak disengaja kok ( 🙂 ).
Tapi hari ini, ketika menuliskan ini, berarti aku dengan sengaja mengenangnya, dengan alasan dalam rangka ulang tahun kedua :). Beberapa waktu lalu aku berpikir-pikir, apa yang akan kutuliskan di blog ini pada hari ini, selain cerita di atas? Akhirnya aku memilih salah satu koleksi tulisan copy paste (mirip dengan postinganku yang dulu, copy paste juga :)), yang ingin aku share kepada para pembaca semua, dan mudah – mudahan bermanfaat :
Do We Know What’s Good For Us?
A true story was told by DR. Bilal Philliphs
In one of his articles, Dr. Bilal Philips (a well known Islamic scholar) narrates a story that involves tragedy, drama, and joy. The story is about an Egyptian teacher whose photograph appeared in a local newspaper. The picture showed his smiling and happy face with his hands stretched out and both thumbs sticking up; his father was kissing him on one cheek and his sister on the other cheek.
The newspaper narrated his story about working as a teacher in Bahrain. After a brief visit back home in Egypt, he was returning to join work and thus taking a flight from Cairo to Bahrain.
However, at the airport he wasn’t allowed to get on the flight because he had one “stamp” missing on his Passport. This made the teacher distraught, thinking that his career was over because this flight was the last one back to Bahrain which would have enabled him to report back on time, missing which also meant that he would lose his job. He thus became quite frantic, but his endless crying, screaming, and explanations to the airport staff could not get him on the plane. His family comforted him to accept Allah’s decree.
Disappointed, he returned home only to learn a few hours later that the flight he was meant to take (Gulf Air flight GF072) crashed killing everyone on board.
While feeling sad for the passengers onboard, he along with his family thanked Allah for His decree. The day he thought was the most tragic day of his career and life, ended up to be the happiest one averting a tragedy for him and his family.
We are reminded of such signs in Surah al-Kahf, a surah that Muslims are instructed by the prophet (sallalahu alayhi wa sallam) to read every Friday.
In it is the story of Prophet Musa (alayhi wa sallam) and Khidr.
Khidr bore a hole in the boat of the people who took him and Musa across the river. This made Musa question (and object) to such an action as the owners of the boat were quiet poor and obviously weren’t happy to what was done to their boat. However, as it became apparent later, an oppressor King came down to the river and forcefully took away all the boats except the one with a hole in it. So the owners of the boat praised Allah due to the fact that there was a hole in their boat.
We learn from this story that in times of distress or when we desire something badly, we shouldn’t always assume what’s good for us and what’s not because Allah may have decreed a different outcome. As Allah says in the Quran (part of the verse):
“….and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.” (Quran Al-Baqarah:216)
When struck by an affliction therefore, we have to be patient and in control of oneself. That is possible when we elevate ourselves to a high enough spiritual level where our Iman (faith) in Allah can help us ride the wave.
We can also stay in control by not losing our sense of reasoning that can help us provide better perspective of the situation. ibn al-qayyim (rahimuallah) said, “patience can be defined as a manner of spiritual superiority by virtue of which we refrain ourselves from doing evil. it is also a faculty of the intellect that enables us to live properly in this world.” Qatada said, “Allah has created angels having reason but with no desires, animals have desires and no reason, and man has both reason and desires. Therefore, if one’s reason is stronger than his desires, he is like an angel. On the other hand, if his desires are stronger, he is like an animal.” (ibn Al-Qayyim – “The Way to Patience and Gratitude.”)
The take away lesson for us is that we can improve the quality of our lives by making an effort to train ourselves to be patient, i.e. to elevate our levels of faith and to understand the dynamics that reasoning plays in staying patient.
As the prophet (sallalahu alayhi wa sallam) mentioned in a hadith,
“……..whoever strives to be patient, Allah will make him patient” (Al-Bukhari).”
May Allah make us amongsth those who are patience ameen…
Sometimes, when I feel so sad, when I feel so lonely, I read my quotes collections, or my reminder collections. Here are some of them (aduh, nggak tau nih, ngomongnya bener apa salah :)) :
The Death Wish
No matter how severe the pain of the sickness may become, one is not allowed to hope or wish for death.The death wish reflects a belief that Allah has burdened one beyond his or her capacity and indicates a lack of patience. The longer people live,the more opportunity they have to do good and improve their lot… (Hadith – Bukhari,vol.7,p390,#575, Muslim,vol.4,p1411,#6480 & 6485)
Anas quoted the Prophet(SAW) as saying: “None of you should wish for death because of some harm which has afflicted him.But if one must do it, let him say: Allaahumma ahyinee maa kaanatil-hayaatu khayran lee [O Allah keep me alive as long as living is best for me] wa tawaffanee ithaa kaanatil-wafaatu khayran lee [and take my life if death is better for me].”
Dua is the weapon of a believer. It will protect you from the evils of enemies. Dua is the shield of a believer. It will increase your sustenance. Dua is more forceful than a sword. Dua replaces what has been destined and also creates that what has not been destined. Dua is a form of ibaadat. Dua removes both the present suffering and that which will come down later. Dua and sufferings challenge each other until the Day of Judgment, and Dua comes out victorious. Dua is so powerful that Dua has the power to create and alter fate!!
Ask Allah for what you need so that He will give it to you. If you keep on knocking the door of Divine Mercy, sooner or later it will be opened for you. Never get tired of Dua, Allah has attached much value to it. Allah says, “Let My servants know that I have the power to grant My servants’ wishes.” A believer who makes Dua receives one of three things:
1. Either he will quickly have his Dua answered, 2. or he will get in the Hereafter, 3. or something bad will be prevented from him equal to the value of his Dua. Everything has a proper discipline to it, and so does Dua. Duas may not be answered when requirements of Dua have not been fulfilled.
Send greetings to the Holy Prophet.
Pray your Salaat regularly.
Recite Qur’an regularly. Seek Tauba. Attain Taqwa.
That is the right way for Dua.
There is no medicine like hope, and there is no tonic as powerful as expectation from Allah for a better tomorrow! 🙂
Be steadfast on the path of Allah, practice patience and perseverance.
There will be a “happily ever after” – Insha Allah for every believer,
Once he sets foot in Jannah, by the Mercy & Grace of Allah!
•►Say Insha Allah right now, Ask Allah for Jannah & Strive for it now!
“Whenever you don’t understand what’s happening in your life, Just close your eyes, take a deep breath and say: “O Allah, I know it’s your plan, and I put my complete trust in you!” “Laa Hawlaa wa laa Quwwata Illa billah” “Say Alhamdulillaah for your trials, and make du’a that He blesses those who are struggling with a hardship with greater imaan, sabr and barakah!”
Build for me near YOU…
a house in Paradise.’
Orang sering sulit dimengerti, tidak pikir panjang dan selalu memikirkan diri sendiri, namun demikian …ampunilah mereka.
Bila kamu baik hati, orang mungkin menuduh kamu egois, atau punya mau, namun demikian …tetaplah berbuat baik.
Bila kamu sukses, kamu akan menemui teman-teman yang tidak bersahabat, dan musuh-musuh sejati kamu, namun demikian … teruskan kesuksesan kamu.
Bila kamu jujur dan tulus hati, orang mungkin akan menipu kamu; namun demikian … tetaplah jujur dan tulus hati. Hasil karya kamu selama bertahun-tahun dapat dihancurkan orang dalam semalam; namun demikian … tetaplah berkarya.
Bila kamu menemukan ketenangan dan kebahagiaan, mungkin ada yang iri; namun demikian … syukurilah kebahagiaan kamu.
Kebaikan kamu hari ini gampang sering dilupakan orang; namun demikian … teruslah berbuat kebaikan.
Berikanlah yang terbaik dari kamu dan itu pun tidak akan pernah memuaskan orang, namun demikian …tetaplah memberi yang terbaik.
Hingga pada akhirnya ….Perkaranya adalah antara kamu dan Sang Pencipta … dan bukan antara kamu dan mereka
Kalau di postingan yang kemarin aku share tulisan untuk para suami, maka agar seimbang, kali ini aku share juga tulisan untuk para istri. Ini dia :
1. Behave like a female, i.e. all the tenderness of a female–a man doesn’t want a man for his wife.
2. Dress pleasantly/attractively. If you are a home-maker, don’t stay in your sleeping suit all day.
3. Smell good!
4. Don’t lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Give him a little mental break.
5. Don’t keep asking him, “what are you thinking?”
6. Stop nagging non-stop before Allah ta’ala gives you something really to complain about.
7. Absolutely no talking about your spousal problems to anyone you meet, not even under the pretense of seeking help! If you think you want to solve legitimate marital issues, then go seek counseling with the right person who can give advice in either:
a. Mediate any injustice done so any wrong can be corrected and the couple can reunite in harmony, or
b. Amicable divorce
8. Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother.
9. Learn all the rights and obligations of each other in Islam. Focus on fulfilling your obligations, not demanding your rights
10. Race to the door when he comes home, as if you were waiting for him. Smile and hug him.
12. Compliment him on the things you know he’s not so confident about (looks, intelligence, etc.) This will build his self-esteem.
13. Tell him he’s the best husband ever.
14. Call his family often.
15. Give him a simple task to do at home and then thank him when he does it. This will encourage him to do more.
16. When he’s talking about something boring, listen and nod your head. Even ask questions to make it seem like you’re interested.
17. Encourage him to do good deeds.
18. If he’s in a bad mood, give him some space. He’ll get over it, inshaAllah.
19. Thank him sincerely for providing you with food and shelter. It’s a big deal.
20. If he’s angry with you and starts yelling, let him yell it out while you’re quiet. You will see your fight will end a lot faster. Then when he’s calm, you can tell him your side of the story and how you want him to change something.
21. When you’re mad at him, don’t say “YOU make me furious”, rather, “This action makes me upset”. Direct your anger to the action and circumstance rather than at him.
22. Remember that your husband has feelings, so take them into consideration.
23. Let him chill with his friends without guilt, especially if they’re good guys. Encourage him to go out, so he doesn’t feel “cooped up” at home.
24. If your husband is annoyed over a little thing you do (and you can control it), then stop doing it. Really.
26. Don’t get mad over small things. It’s not worth it.
27. Make jokes. If you’re not naturally funny, go on the internet and read some jokes, and then tell them to him.
28. Tell him you’re the best wife ever and compliment yourself on certain things you know you’re good at.
29. Learn to make his favorite dish.
30. Don’t ever, EVER talk bad about him with friends or family unnecessarily. If they end up agreeing with you, you will see that it hits you back in the face because you get more depressed that you have a bad husband–and other people also think you have a bad husband.
31. Use your time wisely and get things accomplished. If you’re a home-maker, take online classes and get active in your community. This will make you happy and a secondary bonus is that it impresses your husband.
32. Do all of the above fee sabeelillah and you will see Allah put barakah in everything you do.
33. Husband and wife should discuss and communicate with wisdom with each other to convey what they like and dislike of each other to do or not to do. Do NOT give commands or instructions like he’s your servant. “They are garment to each other” [Surah Baqarah, 2:187]
34. Tell your husband you love him, many, many times. Aisha (رضالله عنها) narrated that the Prophet used to ask her how strong her love for him, she said like “a knot.” And the next time he would ask her, “How is that knot?” He also used to reply to her saying, “Jazzakillah, O Aishah, wallahi, you have not rejoiced in me as I have rejoiced in you.”
35. Have a race with your husband and let him win, even if you are much fitter and stronger than him.
36. Keep fit and take care of your health so you will remain a strong mother, wife, cook and housekeeper, inshaAllah you will not get FAT and frumpy.
38. Do not leave the house without his permission and certainly not without his knowledge.
39. Make sure all his clothes are clean and pressed so he is always looking fresh and crisp.
40. Don’t discuss important/controversial matters with him when he is tired or sleepy. Find right time for right discussion.
41. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
42. Always let him know that you appreciate him working and bringing home the “dough”. It makes it easier for him to go to work.
43. Make sure you ALWAYS have something for dinner.
44. Brush your hair, everyday.
45. Don’t forget to do laundry.
46. Surprise him with gifts. Even necessities, such as new shoes, can be gifts.
47. Listen to him. (Even when he talks about extremely boring things like basketball or computers.)
48. Try (hard as it might be) to take interest in his hobbies.
49. Try not to go shopping too much … and spend all his money.
51. Learn tricks and “techniques” to please your husband in intimacy. (Of course goes both ways.)
52. Prepare for special evenings with him with special dinner and exclusive time (no children permitted).
53. Take care of your skin, especially your face. The face is center of attraction.
54. If you not satisfied intimately, talk to him and tell him. Help him or provide resources, don’t wait until matters become worse.
55. Ask Allah to strengthen and preserve the bonds of compassion and love between the two of you, every day, every prayer. Ask him to protect that bond from Shaytaan. When a lesser devil destroys the love between spouses, he is the most beloved of Shaytaan. Nothing works like du’ah, and love only exists between spouses where Allah instills it.
56. Don’t EVER compare your husbands to other husbands! For example don’t say, “well her husband doesn’t do that, why do you …” (thats a killer!)
57. Be happy with what you have because no one is perfect. If you want perfection, wait until you enter Jannah together inshaAllah–and of course, vice versa!
58. Strive for Allah’s love first and foremost! if all wives try to seek Allah’s love and pleasure, surely, they can keep their husbands love too. And remember–if Allah loves you, the angels will love you, and the entire creation will love you.
59. If you pack a lunch for your husband to take to work, from time to time sneak in a little love note or sweet poem. If he doesn’t take a lunch, leave the note somewhere else for him to find, like in his briefcase, or wallet or on the car steering-wheel
60. Wake him up for Qiyam ul-Layl (in the last third of the night) and ask him to pray with you.
1. Make her feel secure, don’t threaten her with divorce.
2. Give sincere Salaams.
3. Treat her gently, like a fragile vessel.
4. Advise in private, at the best time, in the best way and atmosphere.
5. Be generous with her.
6. Warm the seat for her, you will warm her heart.
7. Avoid anger, be in Wudhu at all times.
8. Look good and smell great for your wife.
9. Don’t be rigid or harsh-hearted or you will be broken.
10. Be a good listener.
11. Yes for flattery. No for arguing.
12. Call your wife with the best names, cute nicknames, and names she loves to hear.
13. A pleasant surprise.
14. Preserve and guard the tongue.
15. Expect, accept, and overlook her shortcomings.
16. Give sincere compliments.
17. Encourage her to keep good relations with her family.
18. Speak of the topic of her interest.
19. Express to her relatives, how wonderful she is.
20. Give each other gifts.
21. Get rid of routine, surprise her.
22. Have a good opinion of each other.
23. Have good manners, overlook small things, don’t nitpick.
24. Add a drop of patience, increase during pregnancy, menses.
25. Expect and respect her jealously.
26. Be humble.
27. Sacrifice your happiness for hers.
28. Help at home, with housework.
29. Help her love your relatives, but don’t try to force her.
30. Let her know that she is the ideal wife for you.
31. Remember your wife in Du’a.
32. Leave the past for Allah, don’t dwell on, dig into, or bring it up.
33. Don’t act as if you are doing her a favor by working or providing, Allah is the Provider, the husband is the carrier of the sustenance to the family.
34. Take Shaitan as your enemy, not your wife.
35. Put food in your wife’s mouth.
36. Treat your wife like she is the most precious pearl that you want to protect.
37. Show her your smile.
38. Don’t ignore the small things, deal with them before they be come big.
39. Avoid being harsh-hearted.
40. Respect and show that you appreciate her thinking.
41. Help her to find and build her inner strengths and skills.
42. Respect that she might not be in mood for intimacy, stay within Halaal boundaries.
43. Help her take care of the children.
44. Give her gifts with your tongue, be an artist with your compliments.
45. Sit down and eat meals together.
46. Let her know that you will be traveling or returning from travel, give her sufficient notice.
47. Don’t leave home in anger.
48. Maintain the secrecy and privacy of the home.
49. Encourage each other in worship.
50. Respect and fulfill her rights upon you.
51. Live with her in kindness, goodness, fairness in good and bad times.
52. Kiss your wife, foreplay, don’t jump on her like a bull.
53. Keep disputes between the two of you, don’t take it outside.
54. Show care for her health and well-being.
55. Remember you are not always right or perfect yourself.
56. Share your happiness and sadness with her.
57. Have mercy for her weaknesses.
58. Be a firm support for her to lean on.
59. Accept her as is, she is a package deal.
60. Have a good intention for her.
61. Cook a dish for her.
62. Designate a nice, clean, spacious area in your home for the two of you to pray at night whenever you can.
63. Women love flowers. Make a trail of them on the floor leading to the gift you made for her.
64. Give her a nice massage when she least expects it.
65. Send your wife a text message out of the blue with a message of love.
66. Send your wife an email without a reason.
67. Go out on a date or a get-away for the weekend in a nice location, preferably without kids.
68. Do something for your wife’s family, whether it is a gift, or a chat with her teen brother who needs mentoring, or whatever. It will get you lots of brownie points.
69. Do not keep reminding and demanding your rights all the time.
70. Shop groceries for her and call her from the store and ask her what she needs for the home, for herself or for her to give to people as gifts.
71. Ask her if she would like to invite her female friends over for ladies only get together and arrange for the dinner.
72. Ask her to send gifts to her parents and siblings.
73. Help her parents pay off debt. Send her poor relatives some money.
74. Write love notes or poems and place them in the book she’s been reading.
75. If she tells you something she had just learned from the Qur’an or Hadith, do not dismiss her or ridicule her effort, instead listen to her and take her word.
76. Plant her a kitchen garden with all kind of herbs she needs for cooking.
78. Update her PC or laptop with a new one or get her a new mobile phone.
79. Learn to do a special massage technique and surprise her with your new expertise.
80. Teach your children to respect and honor their mother.
81. Be humorous with her when she makes a mistake in the kitchen (like when she put too much salt or burnt her baking).
Kemarin aku nemu satu tulisan bagus, yang mirip sama tulisan Ashma binti Shameem dulu itu. Dan aku ingin share tulisan itu di sini. Jadi, hari ini aku copy paste kan di new post. Ini dia tulisannya, let’s check it out :
Allah(swt) has tested the people of the past in various ways and will keep on testing His creation. He has informed us about these tests in the Quran. Our beloved Prophet Muhammad(saw) also informed us that Allah(swt) will test us from time to time. Sometimes hardships and losses occur in life due to our sins. To wash of these sins in this world, Allah(swt) inflicts upon us these hardships:
Narrated By Aisha: Allah’s Apostle said, “No calamity befalls a Muslim but that Allah expiates some of his sins because of it, even though it were the prick he receives from a thorn.” (Sahih Bukhari Vol. 7, Book 70, #544)
And again by a different narrator:
Narrated By Abu Said Al-Khudri and Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, “No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that.” (Sahih Bukhari Vol. 7, Book 70, #545)
Paying for sins in this world is much easier than paying in the Hereafter. It is a blessing in disguise which Allah(swt) bestows upon us and saves us from the payment of these sins in the Hereafter.
The Quran informs us what to do when we face these tests in our life and also tells us about the reward that we will receive if we are successful in dealing with the situation in the way we are expected to:
Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere, Who say, when afflicted with calamity: “To Allah We belong, and to Him is our return”:-
They are those on whom (Descend) blessings from Allah, and Mercy, and they are the ones that receive guidance. – [Quran 2:155-157]
We are to be patient during hard times and always remember that Allah(swt) is the Creator of everything and We all will return to Him. No deed is lost in front of Allah and we will be rewarded for even the minutest good that we ever did do. Trials afflicting us can be signs of His Love. It is narrated that Prophet Muhammad(saw) said:
Narrated By Abu Huraira: Allah’s Apostle said, “If Allah wants to do good to somebody, He afflicts him with trials.” (Sahih Bukhari Vol. 7, Book 70, #548)
Misfortune can bring a person towards the right path. It can make better Muslims out of people. Observing patience, remembering Allah(swt) and turning only to Him for help and guidance during such times, will help us attain Allah’s forgiveness and His rewards.
Allah(swt) tests man through various agencies, both through adversity and prosperity. A person with a luxurious life is tested to see how much he spends in the way of Allah(swt) and how much he is thankful to Allah(swt) for the blessings bestowed upon him. Another can be tested by the things he desires but does not and/or cannot possess. What do these people do is actually their test. Does the person deviate from the way of Allah(swt) to pursue the worldly gains?
Every soul shall have a taste of death: and We test you by evil and by good by way of trial. To Us must ye return. [Quran 21:35]
The Quran reminds us that in periods of hardships, we are to remain patient, remember Allah, and protect ourselves from committing that which is declared unlawful by Allah(swt):
Ye shall certainly be tried and tested in your possessions and in your personal selves; and ye shall certainly Hear much that will grieve you, from those who received the Book before you and from those who worship many gods. But if ye persevere patiently, and guard against evil,-then that will be a determining factor in all affairs. – [Quran 3:186]
An important thing that we should always remember is that everyone is tested. If we declare that we are Muslims, that does not mean that we will not be tested in this world. The Quran is very clear on this issue:
Do men think that they will be left alone on saying, “We believe”, and that they will not be tested? – [Quran 29:2]
One should not think or feel that he is the only unique person going through such times or that Allah(swt) is displeased with him. Every single person faces difficulties to the best of their capacity. Surely Allah is not unjust and does not over burden a soul:
On no soul doth Allah Place a burden greater than it can bear – [Quran 2:286]
This world is an abode for tests and one should not deny or avoid these but should face them and pass them successfully. A person can be put into hardships for a number of reasons and we might not know those reasons when undergoing a certain loss but what we must do is always remember Allah(swt), be patient, abstain from what is unlawful, give charity and ask Him to help ease out our hard times. If we do fail to do this then we should turn to Allah(swt) and ask for forgiveness. Allah(swt) is Most Merciful and InshaAllah He will forgive us for the wrong that we do.
Alhamdulillah, sebentar lagi ramadhan datang. Seminggu yang lalu, aku baru menyadari bahwa aku masih punya hutang puasa ramadhan tahun lalu sebanyak sepuluh hari. Jadi, minggu kemarin aku berusaha melunasi hutangku, lumayan sudah lunas enam hari. Tinggal empat hari lagi.
Ramadhan esok adalah ulang tahun pertama “pertemuanku” dengan my cancer. Tepatnya, pada hari Selasa tanggal 10 Agustus 2010, adalah hari “pertemuan”ku. Tepat seminggu setelah hari ulang tahunku yang ke 36. Itu sebabnya aku menganggapnya sebagai hadiah ulang tahunku. Dua hari berikutnya, yaitu Kamis tanggal 12 Agustus 2010, aku menemui dokter bedah umum dan disarankan untuk operasi biopsi. Dua hari berikutnya, Sabtu 14 Agustus 2010, aku menjalani operasi biopsi. Lalu nunggu hasil PA nya lama banget, hampir sebulan. Selama menunggu itu, aku banyak browsing tentang ca mamae dan tanya-tanya ke blog ini, yang kebetulan aku temukan waktu browsing. Selama bulan ramadhan itu, aku berdoa setiap malam agar hasil PA nya negatif, agar hasilnya tumor jinak biasa aja, bukannya kanker.
Tapi rupanya, beberapa hari sebelum Idul Fitri, suamiku mengambil hasil PA itu tanpa sepengetahuanku, dan tidak memberitahukan hasilnya padaku. Baru beberapa hari sesudah Idul Fitri dia memberitahukannya kepadaku. Aku sempat marah padanya karena tidak segera memberitahukan hasilnya. Setelah mendengar hasilnya, tentu saja aku sedih dan takut. Tapi aku tahu bahwa aku harus menjalani semuanya, menjalani takdirku dengan tabah dan sabar, berusaha meyakinkan diriku bahwa apapun yang terjadi adalah yang terbaik. Bahwa aku harus bisa menerimanya dengan sabar dan syukur, seperti seharusnya sikap seorang hamba Allah yang baik.
Aku menyadari bahwa aku sudah bisa menjalani 36 tahun dalam hidupku, dengan segala suka dan duka dan aku masih akan berani menjalani sisa hidupku walaupun dengan penyakit ini pada diriku. Aku sudah pernah bahagia dan sedih, dan aku tahu bahwa bahagia dan sedih itu akan terus berulang di sepanjang sisa hidupku. Karena inilah hidup, yang harus dihadapi dan dinikmati.
Aku bersyukur bahwa ramadhan sudah dekat. Dan aku berharap masih bisa bertemu dengan ramadhan-ramadhan berikutnya. Dan aku ingin mengisi bulan ramadhan mendatang ini dengan maksimal. Semoga.
Pada ramadhan kali ini,
Kupanjatkan doaku dengan sepenuh hati
Terimalah semua ibadahku
Karena aku tidak tahu
Masihkah aku bertemu lagi dengan ramadhan tahun esok
Pada ramadhan kali ini
Sepenuh hati aku berharap
Kabulkanlah semua doaku
Karena aku tak tahu
Masihkah aku bisa berdoa pada ramadhan tahun esok
Pada ramadhan kali ini
Sepenuh hati aku bermohon
Ampunilah semua dosaku
Yang telah lalu dan yang akan datang
Karena aku menyadari
Bahwa aku bukan orang yang sempurna
Dan aku ingin, kelak bisa menghadapMu
Dalam keadaan suci
Tuhanku yang Maha Penyayang
Aku tahu bahwa Engkau sangat menyayangiku
Bahwa Engkau akan mengabulkan doaku
Karena itu aku bermohon
Masukkanlah aku dalam golongan
HambaMu yang selalu bersyukur dan bersabar
(However life treat me
I know that indeed, You always treat me kind,
In every single breath I take and in every heart beat).
Berikut ini adalah message yang kudapat dari Mbak Titah Rahayu (makasih Mbak…), aku posting ke sini karena isinya sangat bagus. Let’s check it out :
MENGAPA AKU DIUJI ?
QURAN MENJAWAB :
Qs. Al-Ankabut : 2-3
Apakah manusia itu mengira bahwa mereka dibiarkan (saja) mengatakan: ‘Kami telah beriman’, sedang mereka tidak diuji lagi? Dan sesungguhnya kami telah menguji orang-orang yang sebelum mereka, maka sesungguhnya Allah mengetahui orang-orang yang benar dan sesungguhnya Dia mengetahui orang-orang yang dusta.
“KENAPA AKU TAK MENDAPAT APA YG AKU INGINKAN ??”
QURAN MENJAWAB :
Qs. Al-Baqarah : 216
“Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu padahal ia amat baik bagimu dan boleh jadi pula kamu menyukai sesuatu padahal ia amat buruk bagimu, Allah mengetahui sedang kamu tidak mengetahui.”
QURAN MENJAWAB :
Qs. Al-Baqarah : 286
“Allah tidak membebani seseorang itu melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya.”
QURAN MENJAWAB :
Qs. Al-Imran : 139
“Janganlah kamu bersikap lemah, dan janganlah pula kamu bersedih hati, padahal kamulah orang2 yg paling tinggi derajatnya, jika kamu orang2 yg beriman.”
“BAGAIMANA AKU HARUS MENGHADAPINYA ???”
QURAN MENJAWAB :
Qs. Al-Baqarah : 45
“Dan mintalah pertolongan (kepada Allah) dengan jalan sabar dan mengerjakan sholat; dan sesungguhnya sholat itu amatlah berat kecuali kepada orang-orang yang khusyuk”Tiada daya dan upaya kecuali atas pertolongan Allah semata.”
QURAN MENJAWAB :
Qs. At-Taubah : 111 “Sesungguhnya Allah telah membeli dari orang2 mu’min, diri, harta mereka dengan memberikan jannah utk mereka…”
“KEPADA SIAPA AKU BERHARAP ???”
QURAN MENJAWAB :
Qs. At-Taubah : 129
“Cukuplah Allah bagiku, tidak ada Tuhan selain dari-Nya. Hanya kepada-Nya aku bertawakkal.”
“AKU TAK SANGGUP!!!!”
QURAN MENJAWAB :Qs. Yusuf : 12
“….dan janganlah kamu berputus asa dari rahmat Allah. Sesungguhnya tiada berputus asa dari rahmat Allah melainkan kaum yg kafir.”
Ini satu lagi tulisan bagus hasil copy paste…
✦ A British man came to Sheikh and asked: Why is it not permissible in Islam for women to shake hands with a man? The Sheikh said: Can you shake hands with Queen Elizabeth? British man said: Of course not, there are only certain people who can shake hands with Queen Elizabeth. Sheikh replied: ► our women are queens and queens do not shake hands with strange men. ~ MashaAllaah!!!
(Yes of course ! That’s why I don’t let any man touch my hands except my husband, because I’m a queen…)
Tulisan di atas adalah update an status dari page I Love Allaah di facebook (ILoveAllaah.com) dan yang di dalam kurung adalah comment ku. Dan sampai kemarin yang like comment ku ternyata ada 6 orang !
When my daughter was 2 years old, she loved to play with the water in the commode. Yes, that’s right….the commode. Yuck!! That’s nasty! You would say. But to her, that was the delight of the day! Splish…splash! To her there was nothing like it! And so when I would prevent her from it, she would scream and cry and wouldn’t want to stop. She didn’t understand how harmful that was for her. In her little mind, I took away something that she really enjoyed.
And when I would take her to the doctor to have her immunization shots, she didn’t understand either. She would howl at the top of her lungs at the first sight of the needle and would run the other way. It would take two of us just to hold her down! To her, frankly, it was plain torture! Her innocent little mind simply could not even begin to understand how, on earth, could being tortured by a needle, be good for you?!! She didn’t realize that this ‘needle’ will Insha Allah protect her from certain illnesses and harm that is much more severe than the prick of this little needle.
So what’s the point here?
The point I am trying to make is that we, as parents sometimes do things for our kids, out of our great love and concern for them, which they may not understand. They do not see the wisdom behind it, although we do, and so we carry out those things because we know it will be better for them.
And for Allah is the Highest example. (Surah Nahl:60) وَلِلّهِ الْمَثَلُ الْأَعْلَىَ
So when Allaah Subhaanahu wa Ta’ala , in His Infinite Wisdom, tests us with a situation that we think is difficult or takes away something that in our mind was good for us, we need to remember that perhaps it may not be so. Perhaps if we had continued in our way, it might have been harmful for us and whatever Allah decreed for us is actually better for us, for He is All-Wise and All-Knowing.
“…and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.” (Surah Baqarah: 216)
Al-Hasan al-Basri said: “Do not resent the calamities that come and the disasters that occur, for perhaps in something that you dislike will be your salvation, and perhaps in something that you prefer will be your doom.”
Remember that we are dealing with the One who is Arham ar-Raahimeen, the Most Merciful of all that show mercy. All the mercy that we have in this world from Adam (Alaiyhi Salaam) to the Day of Judgment is only one hundredth of the Mercy of the Most Merciful. And He is Most Wise. He knows and we don’t know.
So have faith in Him and trust in Him and although, sometimes we may not understand the reason behind certain things, know that as long as you obey Him, whatever He will do for you is, in fact for your betterment.
So if Allah didn’t give you that big house, or that nice car you wanted or that big raise you were hoping for, know in your mind and believe in your heart that it is actually better for you. Who knows…..maybe that big house, that car or that money would have become a source of ‘fitnah’ for you….Perhaps you would have become arrogant and conceited because of it, and Allah saved you from it. Because, you know that the Prophet (sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said:
“Any one in whose heart is even a mustard seed’s worth of pride will not enter Paradise.” (Muslim)
And if you have been sick and suffering, sure it is not easy. But again, know in your mind and believe in your heart that it is indeed better for you. For, if you bear patiently, it will be a means of expiation for your sins and a source of great reward. The Prophet (sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said:
“There is nothing that befalls a believer, not even a thorn that pricks him, but Allah will record one good deed for him and will remove one bad deed from him.” (Muslim)
And: “On the Day of Resurrection, when people who had suffered affliction are given their reward, those who were healthy will wish their skins had been cut to pieces with scissors when they were in the world (when they see the immense rewards for the afflictions they suffered).” (Tirmidhi-Saheeh by al-Albaani)
If Allah took away a dear, loved one, believe, from the bottom of your heart, that surely this was better. For, you never know, had the one who passed away lived longer, may be his life would have been one of sins and disobedience and Allah, out of His Mercy, took him before that….in a state of Imaan.
And if life has been difficult, worries surround you and calamities after calamities befall you, hear the good news from the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam): “Trials will continue to befall the believing man and woman, with regard to themselves, their children and their wealth, until they meet Allah with no sin on them.” (Tirmidhi– saheeh by al-Albaani)
Subhaan Allaah! No sin?! And what is it from this world that you wouldn’t give up, just to meet Allah with no sin??!!
Remember that the One Who is testing you is the Most Wise, the Most Merciful and the Most Loving…..and that He did not send this calamity in order to destroy you….or cause you pain or finish you off. Rather, He is checking on you, testing your patience, acceptance and faith; it is so that He may hear your du’a and supplication, so that He may see you standing before Him….seeking His protection….filled with humility and complaining to Him, alone. The difficulties you face is a reminder for you to return to Allah and ask for forgiveness from Him. Who knows… if He didn’t give you the difficulty, maybe you would have strayed from Him far, far away….
Ibn Taymiyah said: A calamity that makes you turn to Allah is better for you than a blessing which makes you forget the remembrance of Allah.”
Thus in our times of trouble, when we go through pain and suffering and in our times of loss, we need to trust Allah. We need to keep in mind that as long as we fear Him and try our best to obey Him, He will never do us wrong. He will protect us and guide us and do the best for us, no matter what the situation apparently looks like. Allah says in a hadeeth Qudsi:
“I am as my slave thinks of me and I am with him whenever he remembers me.” (Agreed Upon).
It is actually a sign of our weakness and shortsightedness, that we tend to focus on the calamities themselves, without paying much attention to the benefits that they may bring. We also forget to look at all other innumerable blessings that we enjoy and see around us.
Our minds, our logic and our senses cannot even begin to fathom the Wisdom, the Knowledge and the Hikmah behind Allah’s decisions and verdicts. It is He who is the Wise….it is He who is the Just and it is He who is the Knower of the unseen. If we trust in Allah, He will suffice and it is He who will grant us goodness in any situation and under any circumstances.
“And when someone puts all his trust in Allah, He will be enough for him.” (Surah at-Talaaq:3)
The Prophet (sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said:
“If you put your trust completely in Allah, He will arrange for your sustenance in the same way as He provides for the birds. They go out in the morning with their stomachs empty and return filled in the evening.” (Tirmidhi-saheeh).
So trust Him….for, there is much reward in trusting Him…..it is Jannah. And there is sin in distrusting Him. Calamities and disasters are a test, and they are a sign of Allah’s love for a person. They are like medicine: even though it is bitter, yet, in spite of its bitterness you still give it to the one whom you love….
“The greatest reward comes with the greatest trial. When Allah loves a people He tests them. Whoever accepts that wins His pleasure but whoever is discontent with that earns His wrath.” (Saheeh al-Tirmidhi)